The Ten Best Ways for Football Guys to Cope Now That Football Season Is Over

Disclaimer: You're going to see the term "football guy" a lot of times throughout this blog. I am not assuming gender; rather, I am using the term that describes the men and women that eat, sleep, and breath football. Enjoy.

It's finally upon us. The forever-dreaded Monday after the Super Bowl is not only the worst work day of the year, but it is the annual worst day of the year for football guys. For most football fans, the season has been over for quite some time because their team was eliminated. But, for the true football guys, the season lasts until the clock hits 0:00 at the end of the Super Bowl. And now that today is finally here, I figured it was smart to offer our fans some tips on how to manage themselves during the offseason. The most important thing to remember if you are going to survive the offseason is that football will be back eventually. The offseason can seem like a long, dark hole that never ends, so you need to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally to handle the downs. I'm offering ten different ways you can channel your energy and emotion in order to make it to next September with your man card and "football guy" label fully intact. But before we get into our list, I'd like to congratulate the Philadelphia Eagles and all of their loyal fans on an incredible season and Super Bowl victory. They overcame doubt, injuries to their stars, the defending NFC champ, a team of destiny, and finally, the defending Super Bowl champions led by the greatest Quarterback and Coach duo of all time in Brady and Belichick. It was not an easy feat, but behind the arm of Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles and the mind of Doug Pedersen, they made it happen and made history.

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The List

10. Watch Replays

Starting off our countdown, we have an option that I think all football guys can get on board with, and that's watching more football. The main reason this isn't higher on the list is because most loyal fans do not want to go back and remember a season in which they didn't have Super Bowl success. But for Philly fans, this option can shoot up all the way to number one because your only job is to party and brag your ass off until Opening Kickoff of next season. For the rest of us, rewatching highlights from season's past is a fantastic way to rewire your brain into thinking YOUR team has the best chance to win the Super Bowl next season. Which makes the offseason much more tolerable. A downside to this method is that you may stumble upon, say, a Mike Glennon in your team's highlight reel and it could ruin your day. Or you could get yourself into a situation where the appearance of football on your TV causes a panic inside of you because you remember there won't be a live game for 6 months. Replays are definitely a coping method to consider, but proceed with caution.

9. Don't Diet

Let me explain what I mean by this before you skip right ahead to number 8. Things are about to change in your life without football in it, and there's no escaping that. Taking football away from a football guy is like feeding a crackhead crack for 6 months and then making them quit cold turkey. It's not going to be easy. For many football guys out there, you may start to feel pressured by loved ones to get your life together now that football is gone and Spring is around the corner. I'm telling you that beginning with a diet is a huge risk. This comes in at number 9 because true football guys love to take huge risks, and in this instance, a diet could pay off big time. A solid diet and workout routine can be a huge offseason power move (which I will get into later), but it is a huge risk nonetheless. And it is not for everyone. Which is why choosing not to diet made a spot on our list. Many football guys cannot handle the emotional letdown of football and bar food being taken away at the same time. For those of you out there, it is okay to take your time through this coping process. An individual study on myself even shows that eating the same foods as you would during a football game release endorphins in your body that make it feel like football season during the duration of the meal. So, eat your wings and cheeseballs if that's what it takes. No one said you have to be perfect. Just gridiron tough.

8. Use Your Vacation Time

Okay, this is for the peeps out there that can already feel the breakdown coming. Often times you find fans of teams one year away from a rebuild in this situation. Maybe your team took a step back this season and you can't handle the thought of your quarterback aging another year or you don't trust your GM at all. Things of that nature. But vacation can be a lifesaver because, if you come from where I'm from, vacations can be magical. Leaving your home town and getting some new scenery is a beautiful thing that you can carry with you sometimes for an entire offseason. Get out of your office and go create some memories that you can look back on in July when only baseball is on and you're contemplating killing yourself. If you don't have vacation time, mono is always a good backup plan as long as its monitored and you have an HBO Go subscription. There are ways around this offseason thing, and we're only getting started. Keep the faith.

7. Get Into the Winter Olympics

This is undoubtedly the most underrated item on our list. If this was an annual event, it would be higher up on the list for sure. Every four years, the football gods bless us with an opportunity as football guys to continue our passion through the month of February celebrating the two things that make football so damn special, being the best and America. Make no mistake about it, the Winter Olympics would be badass regardless of if they moved them to before the Super Bowl or not. But somewhere along the way, a couple of football guys pulled some strings with the man upstairs giving us the most perfect situation possible. The Winter Olympics have damn near everything a football guy could want. Intense competition, people getting injured in super athletic ways, hot chicks on skis, fire... those are just a couple of the things that make the Winter Olympics great. And the best part is that the opening ceremonies are Friday night, which means we don't even have to wait a week to get them started. This coping method only comes once every four years, and won't last you an entire offseason, but it gives you a ton of bang for your buck.

6. Binge Watch Your Favorite Football Movies/TV Series

This is a great, family-friendly way to stay in spirit during the offseason. It can be a good thing for your sanity to step away from thinking about your team, especially early offseason before the draft. A nice way to fill the void is to watch your favorite football movies and TV shows, because you kind of get to take your mind off of football without really taking your mind off football. The perfect football guy loophole. A smart way to go about this is to make it a big family movie night event (to make up for being absent on weekends during the season) or to watch on Sunday night and go through your regular in-season Sunday night routine (bro move). I would definitely be careful with how much you watch though, because too many happy endings could get your hopes up and set you up for a huge crash when your favorite team goes 5-11 again next season. This offseason thing can be a real war of attrition.

5. Madden

Ah, good ol' Madden. Helping football guys cope with the offseason since 1988. This is definitely a crowd favorite. Madden is a great way to keep your mind on football when it can kind of start to get away from you. A great late night spring/summer activity. Madden also allows you to feel like the coach, GM, or star of your team which brings me back to rewiring the brain to convince yourself of your team's success in the upcoming season. There isn't much to say about this method because it's obvious the lengths it can take you in surviving the offseason. Madden's track record speaks for itself... it has saved thousands of football guys from biting the dust in off-seasons past. If you suck at Madden, just play a couple of games and ask Madden on every play. But really listen to John's voice. It'll soothe you. If you don't own Madden or you find that the rage it brings you outweighs the benefits, rewatching bootlegged episodes of Madden Nation online can really get you in the mood as well. For me, nothing gets me going in the offseason like watching my man representing Devin Hester and the Chicago Bears win Madden Nation.

4. Get in Shape

Yes, this option made it all the way up to number 4 on my list. I know this isn't going to be the most universally practiced method on this list, but like I stated before not every routine on this list is for everybody. What makes this such an enticing option is that, if things go well and you buy in, your offseason can pass in the blink of an eye. There aren't very many places that are more suitable for football guys than the gym, so spending an entire offseason there can be very character building. Getting in shape allows you to stay motivated, gives you a better shot at picking up babes, and gives you a little leeway come next football season when you're slamming down beer and wings again. Also, there just isn't much else to do during the offseason, so it's the perfect time to do all this "workout" nonsense. Let's face it, you'll always choose a football game over the gym, so if any time is a good time to get in shape, it's the offseason. If you have no desire to get in shape, or you are one of those people who can eat 60 wings a week and look the same, refer to #9 on the list.

3. Watch Other Sports

There's really no better option than this right here. If you're going to want to be a football guy for the long haul, you need to start preparing for future off-seasons now. For a guy like me, this method easy because I've always enjoyed all sports. But some extremists are real intense and committed to football, which makes it hard to adjust to the other options. If you want a chance to thrive during the offseason, you're going to have to accept sports like hockey, basketball, baseball and golf for what they are. You need to find the little things you can enjoy about each sport. This will not only help you to enjoy them more and get the full year-round sport fan experience, but it will also help time fly by before next season. This year, you got the Winter Olympics for virtually the rest of February, March Madness leads you into April which is a great golf month, May and June bring the NHL and NBA playoffs, then we're close enough to the regular season that we can almost taste it. Nobody said this offseason thing would be easy, but true football guys don't like anything that doesn't come with a challenge.

2. Drink

There's absolutely no way around it. The offseason sucks. There are a plethora of options to replace watching football, but at the end of the day none of them are better than watching football. But, luckily for all of the football guys out there, there is one thing that can make anything better. And that's alcohol. Alcohol is like Mike's Secret Stuff but for the fan instead of the player. Whether you are stressing out about your team's future or anxious to get things rolling, alcohol can make the offseason feel short and fun. And even if you can't muster up the positive energy to have a good time until football season rolls back around, alcohol will be there for you during your temporary depression. And just like bar food gets those football season endorphins going, alcohol can do the same thing. The best part about the offseason is the warm weather and for as shitty as the sports situation is during the summer, it is still summer and it's a fantastic time to get drunk with all of your football guy buddies. This is rumored to be an especially good idea if you are a Browns, Jaguars, Lions, or Bills fan. Combine this technique with numbers 9 and 10 for peak offseason, but you may find that you shut down afterwards.

1. Embrace Your Team's Offseason

This is it. Only the truest of all football guys can pull this off. The best defense against the offseason is a good offense, which means the end of the Super Bowl only marks the beginning of your work as a fan. The grandaddy of all offseason activities is to eliminate the offseason altogether. This method kind of relates to #4 in that, you must be all in to accomplish this or else it will just make things drag out and seem even longer. Every football guy can identify with their team, and if the team doesn't stop working in these cruel months than neither should you. You need to find out the positions of need on your team and decipher who the best possible fits are either via free agency or the draft. After those things come and go, you must figure out the best way to use the talent on the roster (#1 and #5 on this list go like peanut butter and jelly). Don't get me wrong, this will get you absolutely nowhere in life outside of football. And it won't have any real effect on your team's success. But you bet your ass that once the season rolls around, you'll have a fantasy squad to be proud of and you'll be able to put reason as to why your team is so shitty (or good, if you're lucky).